Haven 3: Forgotten Sins Read online

  “Just around this curve up here is the entrance to the estate. The guard can’t know that Nicholas is here.”

  “Then what the fuck do I tell him? And how do I keep him from looking in the backseat?”

  “I called ahead to tell them that you’d be here to collect a few of Nicholas’s personal belongings that he needs while he’s away. They shouldn’t give you any trouble.”

  “And if they do?”

  “Why don’t you want anyone to know I’m here?” Nicholas interrupted their arguing when he started to feel panicky again.

  “Just trust me. It’s better this way,” Jonas answered vaguely.

  “Now, scrunch down in the seat and be quiet.”

  “Jonas?”

  “What is it?” Jonas wasn’t looking at him, though. He was tense and alert as he stared through the window.

  The vehicle slowed, and Nicholas could see the huge gates just ahead. Why did Jonas want him to be quiet? Maybe his coven didn’t adore him like Jonas had said. Maybe they hated him. Maybe they were angry because he’d killed their old leader.

  His brain was a whirlwind of snarled and confusing thoughts.

  Jonas had sworn to keep him safe, and oddly enough, Nicholas believed him. Still, none of this made sense to him. “If it’s not safe here, why did you bring me back?”

  “I didn’t say it wasn’t safe. I just said it was better that no one know you’re here just yet.”

  “Jonas, what’s wrong? Does someone want to hurt me? Did I do something?” Who had he killed? Surely the man’s family would want vengeance for something like that. “Who was the former leader?” Jonas flinched but didn’t speak.

  “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “We’re here. I need you to be quiet, okay?”

  “Jonas, tell me what you’re hiding. Who was the leader of this coven before me?”

  “Later. Just drop it for now, and I’ll tell you whatever you want to know later. Please, Nicky.”

  Nicholas wasn’t backing down, though. “Tell me!”

  “Phillip McCarthy!” Jonas shouted right back. “Your brother, okay? You challenged and killed your brother to become leader!”

  Chapter Three

  The guard asked too many questions and seemed a little too curious about the reason for their visit.

  “Elder Cortez was informed that we’d be here today,” Raven said, not bothering to hide the growl in his voice. “Just let me through the fucking gate.”

  “In a minute,” the guard replied. “I need to check the backseat, and then you can be on your way.”

  “Why do you need to check the backseat?”

  “It’s standard procedure. It’s not a big deal.”

  “He’s a shifter,” Jonas whispered. Vampires couldn’t compel each other or witches strong enough to block them, but other preters were fair game. “Do something.”

  Jonas didn’t know what he expected, but Raven grabbing the guard by the collar and hauling him halfway through the window wasn’t it. The guard struggled by instinct, but he went slack almost immediately when Raven began speaking. “You don’t need to check the backseat. You’re going to open the gate and forget you saw us.”

  “Everything looks good,” the guard mumbled. “I’ll just get the gate for you.”

  “That’s an excellent idea. Thank you.” Raven released the man and settled back in his seat. A moment later the gate groaned as it slid aside to allow them entrance.

  “Way to go, Mr. Subtle,” Jonas groused. He hoped like hell that no one had seen the confrontation.

  Raven shrugged. “It got the job done, didn’t it? So, where are we going?”

  Rolling his eyes, Jonas decided to let it go. “Follow the drive to the main house, and there’ll be a dirt service road just before you get to the circle. Take that as far as it’ll go.” Nicholas bowed his head and pressed his lips together in a thin line. His broad shoulders shook, and his eyes held a vacancy, devoid of any light. He hadn’t spoken a word since Jonas’s outburst.

  “I’m so sorry, Nicky.”

  Nicholas squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head while his hands fisted on his knees.

  Jonas had always looked up to Nicholas, figuratively and literally.

  Nicholas McCarthy was the bravest, most self-assured person he’d ever met. At six foot four, Nicholas had only three inches on him and a mere twenty pounds, but to Jonas, he’d always been larger than life.

  Nicholas was definitely an alpha, and even before he became leader of the Olympia Coven, Jonas had deferred to him in all matters.

  Things had been turned upside down and every which way, though.

  While Jonas had been head of the guards and led the Enforcers of the coven, it felt strange to be in the more dominant role with Nicholas. It felt wrong. Jonas hadn’t seen this amount of emotion from the man in years. Not even when he’d been forced to slay his own brother.

  “This is it, chaps,” Raven announced in a poor British accent as he pulled the SUV to a stop beneath a large tree. “This is as far as we go.”

  “You two wait here.” Jonas looped his fingers around Nicholas’s wrist and tugged. “Let’s go.”

  It nearly broke his heart when Nicholas slid out of the car without a word and followed behind him like a whipped dog. He kept his head down, his black hair falling around his face and hiding the gorgeous gray eyes that Jonas got lost in every time he looked at his mate.

  Things weren’t going anything like he’d planned. They were supposed to be having fun and recreating some lighthearted memories. All he’d done so far was depress his mate and make him feel like shit.

  “Where are we going?” Nicholas asked quietly, but without any real interest in his tone.

  Jonas ducked under a low-hanging tree branch and held it aside for Nicholas to follow. Then he waved a hand toward the moonlit pond and tried to smile at his companion.

  “I don’t remember this place.” Nicholas shrugged as though completely unconcerned. “Why are we here?”

  “We used to come here when we were younger.” It was the place where he and Nicholas had shared their first kiss. It was in this little hidden paradise where they’d also shared their bodies for the first and only time. Things had gone downhill quickly after that one blissful night together.

  “That doesn’t answer why we’re here now.” Instead of answering, Jonas began stripping off his clothes. The cool September wind wasn’t exactly ideal for skinny-dipping. The water would be even colder, but this place held a lot of meaning to him—to them—and he didn’t have time to wait for the summer.

  “Take ’em off, my friend.”

  Nicholas’s eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open. “Are you kidding? I am not taking my clothes off out here in the open and parading my naked ass for everyone to see.” After kicking his boots off, Jonas pushed his jeans down his hips and stepped out of them. “Stop being a pussy. No one is out here except for us, and I’ve seen your naked ass plenty of times. It’s not that great.”

  The indignant look that crossed over Nicholas’s face was comical, and Jonas chuckled as he sauntered toward the water. It probably wasn’t nice to taunt Nicholas while he was upset, but he was determined to get the uptight vampire in the pond one way or another.

  “I have a fantastic ass,” Nicholas grumbled under his breath.

  Jonas smiled when he heard the rustling of clothes, but didn’t turn around to look. Instead, he travelled down the shallow embankment and hissed when the cold water splashed over his feet. Taking a deep breath for courage, he kept going, wading farther out in the pond until the water reached midthigh.

  His sac tightened, and his balls tried to crawl up inside of his body, but he kept going. When the water lapped just below his collarbone, he finally turned to see if Nicholas was going to join him.

  Already submerged to his hips, Nicholas looked uncomfortable but trudged on until he stood just a foot from Jonas.

  “I’m freezing all my best bits off. I hope th
ere’s a point behind this.”

  Yeah, Jonas hoped so, too, but from the skepticism written on Nicholas’s face, it was starting to look doubtful. “This doesn’t trigger anything for you?” Even if it was just a feeling, a tiny twinge of something, it would be better than nothing.

  Nicholas shook his head. “Should it? I recognized my house and the grounds, and even the road that led us here, but I don’t remember this pond. I’m sorry, Jonas. I think you’re wrong about this place. It obviously doesn’t hold any emotional value for me.” Well, that hurt. Though he knew he shouldn’t take it personally, Nicholas’s indifference to a place that meant so much to him was a hard pill to swallow and tainted some of the magic he’d always felt there.

  “I’m sorry, too, Nicky. This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have brought you here.” Instead of creating a wonderful moment for his mate, all he’d done was depress himself and tarnish the few good memories he had of them together.

  “Why did you?” Nicholas asked quietly. “Why is this place so important to you? Why did you think it would be important to me?”

  Jonas didn’t want to travel that road yet. “My reasons are my own. It was stupid to think that you’d feel the same way. Let’s just go. It’s a long way to Nevada.” They’d only just begun their journey, and already Jonas was willing to give up. He’d do absolutely anything for Nicholas, but he’d been fooling himself by believing he could make the man love him.

  “Wait.” Nicholas reached out and touched Jonas’s arm before he could move. “I’m not trying to be an asshole. I want to know. Please, tell me why you brought me here. Tell me what I’m supposed to remember.”

  Shaking his head, Jonas smiled sadly and stepped closer to his mate. “It’s not something I can tell you, Nicky.” Hope blossomed when Nicholas didn’t immediately pull away from him. “You see that tree over there?”

  Nicholas looked over his shoulder and nodded. “You mean the one that hangs over the water?”

  “It was under that tree when you kissed me for the first time. I guess we were about eighteen, and I was so nervous, but you knew exactly what to do.”

  Nicholas licked his lips and swallowed audibly. “The first time? So, it was more than once? Did we…” He trailed off and looked away, unable or unwilling to continue his line of thinking.

  Jonas had no trouble following along, though. It probably would have given him a lot of satisfaction to answer the unspoken question in the affirmative, but he held his tongue. He didn’t want to put too much strain on Nicholas’s poor, confused brain at once. “We should probably get going.”

  Gliding forward through the water, Jonas didn’t expect Nicholas to step in front of him and block his way. Nor did he expect the hand that landed on the side of his neck. Nicholas’s thumb smoothed up and down the column of his throat, right over the vein that was jumping with the rapidness of his pulse.

  “Right here,” Nicholas whispered, pressing his thumb more firmly against Jonas’s neck. “This is where it happened. This is where you were stabbed.”

  * * * *

  A glint of gold in the moonlight flashed through his mind, followed by an image of flowing crimson. Nicholas couldn’t see the face of the attacker, but it happened here in this small clearing, just by the edge of the pond.

  “You were laughing at something I’d said.” He closed his eyes and tried to pull the memory closer. “It was a full moon.” A ghost of a smile twitched at his lips. “You were nude.” Jonas’s breathing accelerated, rushing out to fan over Nicholas’s face. His heart pounded so hard, Nicholas could feel the beat of it in the man’s neck. “I wasn’t the only one naked.” Chuckling under his breath, Nicholas found himself leaning forward, closer to Jonas. “Right. We’d been swimming. It was still warm, but the leaves were beginning to change.” His heartbeat picked up in tempo, galloping inside his chest to match the pace of Jonas’s.

  Keeping his eyes closed, he watched the memory play out, saw himself smiling as he bent forward and pressed his lips to Jonas’s. “I kissed you.”

  “Yes,” Jonas confirmed breathlessly.

  He could almost feel Jonas’s plump lips against his, and his dick twitched in interest at the depictions his mind produced. There was definitely something there—something between him and Jonas that he couldn’t explain. It was like the feeling of a feeling. It didn’t run deep but slowly trickled along the edges of his subconscious.

  “Fuck!” Nicholas screamed, grabbed his head in both hands, and struggled to stay upright in the water. His head exploded with a pain so intense it robbed him of breath and made his legs tremble.

  “Nicky?” Jonas’s arm came around him to lend support and keep him upright. “Nicky, what’s wrong?”

  His eyes watered, his nose burned, and the pressure built inside his head.

  “Shit! Oh, shit, shit! Raven! Torren!”

  “Help me,” Nicholas rasped. Feeling something warm and wet rolling down the side of his neck, he moved one hand away from his temple to wipe at it as Jonas dragged him toward the shore.

  “What the hell happened?” Raven demanded, crashing through the trees and stopping just at the edge of the embankment. “Why the hell is he bleeding from his ears?”

  Nicholas lifted his hand away from his neck and stared at the blood smeared over his palm and fingertips. “What’s happening to me?” More sickening pain exploded behind his eyes and the world went momentarily blank, causing him to stumble just as they stepped out of the pond.

  “He remembered something,” Torren said casually from beside Raven. “The spell is trying to prevent it.”

  “Well, what the fuck do we do?” Jonas snarled at him.

  “I thought that was the point,” Torren countered. “Isn’t that why you brought him? Don’t you want him to remember?”

  “I want him to remember, but not if it’s going to kill him. His death is exactly what I’m trying to prevent!” Nicholas didn’t know what the hell they were talking about, and just then, he didn’t give a flying fuck. He just wanted everyone to shut up. “I’m gonna puke.”

  “Okay, you’re going to be okay. Up you go.” Jonas gave him a boost up the slight hill while Raven and Torren grabbed his hands and pulled him up. “Torren, fucking do something.”

  “And what would you have me do?”

  “Are you a fucking witch or not?”

  “Would you two shut the hell up?” Nicholas hadn’t been joking. The pain was so bad he really was going to hurl. “At least I don’t have shoes on.”

  Raven’s eyebrows drew together, and he glanced down at Nicholas’s bare feet. “Dude, that ain’t all you don’t have on. Where are your clothes? I don’t want you rubbing your cock and balls all over my leather seats.”

  Nicholas’s laugh quickly turned into a groan of misery. “Don’t make me laugh.” He let the two men lead him toward the SUV as he breathed deeply and tried not to lose his dinner all over Raven’s shiny, black boots. “Are my ears still bleeding?” Soft cotton draped over his shoulders, and Nicholas turned his head just far enough to see Jonas out of the corner of his eye. The vampire was rather handsome, even with his hair all wet and mussed.

  As soon as the thought crossed through his mind, another jolt of lightning sizzled in his head.

  “Torren, please!” Jonas hurried forward, nudged Raven out of the way, and wrapped his arm around Nicholas’s waist. “Hold on, baby. We’re going to fix you right up.”

  “Damn, it hurts. Just make it stop.”

  “I know, Nicky. I know. I’m going to make it stop.” He looked around Nicholas to Torren and bared his fangs. “Do. Something!”

  “Fucking vampires,” Torren mumbled under his breath. “I’m not some goddamn carnival attraction.”

  “I never said you were. You’re the only one who can help him, though. Please, Torren.”

  The witch dropped his head and sighed. “Somno iam.” It was the last thing Nicholas heard before his world went black, and he slumped unconsciously into Jonas’s arms.


  Chapter Four

  “This was a bad idea.” Jonas sat in the backseat of the SUV in just a pair of jeans with Nicholas’s head in his lap. “I can’t watch him hurt like this.” He combed his fingers through his mate’s damp hair and stared down at his sleeping face. Nicholas looked so peaceful—except for the blood drying along his jaw and down the side of his neck.

  “I know it’s hard,” Torren offered from the front passenger seat.

  “No one said love was easy, though.”

  “How does what happened have anything to do with love?” Jonas wanted to yell and snarl the words, but he kept his inquiry quiet so as not to disturb his slumbering mate. “What happened to him?”

  “I told you.” Torren turned in his seat so that he could look at Jonas. “He was beginning to remember, and the spell was trying to prevent it.”

  “I don’t understand. I thought the spell just made him want Malakai. Why can’t he remember shit? And what was that out there in the pond? Torren, I need some answers. What am I missing here?”

  “You’re not missing anything. Are you very sure that he doesn’t love you?”

  Jonas stroked the hair back from Nicholas’s face and sighed. “I’m sure. I think this proves it, don’t you? If he loved me, he wouldn’t have forgotten.”

  “Are you always this melodramatic?” Torren pushed a hand through his ebony hair and rolled his eyes. “He does love you, and that’s the reason he’s remembering. When the spell was cast, and Nicholas became obsessed with Malakai, it pushed away all memories of you. The spell can’t manufacture the feeling of love if his heart already belongs to someone else.”

  That sounded all good in theory, but Jonas wasn’t buying it. “That would make more sense if he hadn’t forgotten a lot more than just me. He doesn’t even remember challenging Phillip, and that was a fairly pivotal point in his life.”